Rez Me

My one-man raid experienced a full wipe thanks to an accidental discharge of an area effect cast. It pulled some epic pats; I didn't hold up for long. Since I hate taking blame, and there were no Pugs around, I blame the faulty, cheating Mobs that are around every corner in the dungeon of life. With great fortune, the opportunity has inspired me to completely re-roll my toon. You may have no idea what I'm talking about, but if you do, my glee for you is substantial. So here I am, starting out with a satchel, a bedroll, some random crap that won't be any good to me before long, and an empty book. What will I encounter first?

I woke up yesterday with the realization that I've been looking at everything the wrong way lately. My immediate conclusion to this was simple; anything that I don't have direct control over falls into the category called "retarded anyways." For example, gas prices? Retarded anyways. There's no need for concern at all. America's drastic recession? Retarded anyways. Youtube comments? The new Eminem Album? Fox news? Retarded anyways. Even the activation of the deadly Large Hadron Collider which will either tear the Earth apart and stuff it into a single atom or convert its entire mass into strange matter doesn't bother me, and that's merely a month away.

With this new outlook, I realize how frivolous the rest of the world seems. I wonder how others don't come to grips with this. These days, there are so many words and ideas that are so hard for society to take. I'm looking at you, terrorism, Christmas, and nanotechnology. With so many subjects considered tongue-in-cheek, and so many drones trying to be politically correct, I feel my new point of view will cause some of the most entertaining controversy and I relish that idea. I'm pretty sure that means I pose a dangerous threat to modern society. The men in black suits will someday bust down my door and chain me to a desk to use my rogue ways as intelligence to find other assholes like me so they can be taken to the proper authorities and decommissioned. Even then, I will rename all my captors to "Susie" and discuss events I've held with their mothers.

Of course, I assume too much. In reality I'll probably instead face either misinterpretation, or nobody reading this at all anyway.

As I mentioned, I had this light-seeing experience yesterday. That is, yesterday of writing this. Of course, I'm sure I won't post it for another two days. It will sit on my hard drive and witness several virus scans before I decide to publish it on the Intertron. I'm far too important and handsome to not procrastinate. You're witnessing a full restoration of the Lynk. It will be a slow process, like a dot-matrix printer, or the waitress at Denny's. Everything in my life seems so much better now that I'm not taking it seriously.

Nobody Told Me

I recently treated myself to The Orange Box, which claims with a quote from IGN.com to be "The best deal in videogame history." I cannot agree more. Nobody told me Half-Life 2 was so incredible. It sort of brought me back to the days of Red Faction, and I haven't played a good FPS on the PC since the latest Doom incarnation.

I'm still a little uncertain what to make of this world-wide-weblog. Don't expect a revelation anytime soon though. I'm running to the mall to wait in line for my preorder of Super Smash Bros. Brawl in just a few minutes, and it is likely nobody will see or here from me outside my habitat for quite some time.

I Have Lists

There's so much I've been wanting to talk about. Ray Kurzweil, Super Smash Bros. Brawl, Jack Thompson and his attempt to blame video games on yet another tragic shooting, my recent excursions to the laundromat… And while these topics may be very fascinating, I've been so busy scheduling my life that I haven't had time to do anything.

I'm beginning to see a pattern here. I can safely say one of my specialties is having no ability to dispatch my free time. Perhaps my discovery of Fark, Digg, and Youtube play a role in hindering my productivity, but I have no actual facts to back that up. I've started to build massive lists, tasks, and lifestyle elements to adhere to. My Outlook .pst file is probably nearing it's limit, despite the fact that I don't download my mail through Outlook. I enjoy having a managed array of structure in my life. It never keeps me from slacking off, but at least I get something done by the end of the day. I plan on buying a small filing cabinet with forty-three folders in it. Perhaps I've been holding onto these tiny quirks far too long. I've discovered that once I begin to delve deep into the world of calendars and tentative appointments and priority statuses, I become a tad bit obsessed. Due to a few follow-up tasks I put in one of my personal to-do lists, I've managed to get myself a new part time job, at the cost of a few hours of sleep. Throwing this all into an excel document, the results clearly state that I am screwed.

Perhaps I am hatching into a yuppie. I do own a bluetooth earpiece for my fancy Windows Mobile Smartphone. Let's hope it is just a phase. I have scheduled an hour next Wednesday to ponder this, but I may have to move it… hold on, I've got to take this call.

Before I head out for the night and face the cold to play for the townies on the icy streets of Oneonta, I'd like to drop a link to a fantastic site I first stumbled upon a few months ago. I've made it one of my dailies, and I hope you do too. Anchor Marta Costello sums up the day's Gnooze (the G is silent) in about three minutes. Marta lays the news down in her own words (often through some of the best paraphrasing known to man) for a very fresh take on comedy news casting. I predict she will someday be the third installment of the Stewart-Colbert-Costello Trifecta that has been prophesized since the dawn of ages. This is what the Internet is all about, people. Check it out.

The Sexbox and the Unknown

An infection of sorts has recently been allowed to permeate my sinuses and has granted me time to add a little more content to this work in progress. Today I'd like to talk about recent happenings in the media, the fundamental flaws in investigative reporting, and I will wrap it up with a gentle story about family togetherness. Please scroll slowly to continue.

For the better part of human history, bored, hungry journalists everywhere have been collecting their spoon-fed opinions and publishing them in whatever media they get paid for. This has been growing and contorting outwards increasingly over the past several years. Experts believe that by the year 2014, all news broadcasts will consist solely of name calling, randomly generated phrases, and hand-picked target audience sensationalism. I researched this for forty seconds this morning while brushing my hair, so I know what I am talking about.

Over the past two weeks, the buzzword of the news has been the cleverly pieced-together moniker, "Sexbox." This crafted title is a play on words, combining the dangerous word "sex," with the word "xbox," which is also known as "orgasmic-rape-simulator" in the more uppity professional fields. Mass Effect, which came out months ago, is stealing the spotlight due to graphic content. Experts and reporters and people with doctorates have been up in arms over full, completely customizable porn scenes that children can direct and play out their most wild fantasies over and over again. I believe what they are talking about is the two minute love scene that, depending on your subtle actions throughout the thirty hours of gameplay, might flash the side of a boob for a few seconds. In otherwords, think VH1's spring break, only with dignity, and less side boob.

I am unsure who started this entire debate; my first exposure to this was the highly unimportant Kevin McCullough, a columnist for townhall.com. It appears the article no longer exists within that domain, and it is a pity, I would love to show you all how not to cast the news. McCullough basically made accusations about the "realistic sex acts" embedded in the game, including homosexual activity that may turn our god-fearing world inside out. What he didn't mention was his lack of research or his understanding of the situation. Of course, Penny Arcade linked to his article, and thousands (if not more) gamers flooded his inbox and comments. He later posted a rebuttal for the comments in his blog, insulting gamers with name calling, and best of all, comparing his lack of research to a "strip club at the end of the block or hookers knocking at the door." Lastly, he issued an apology for his baseless rant, although it wasn't very convincing.

Fox news displayed a panel of uninformed, who's research consisted of a quick look at the Mass Effect website, verses Geoff Keighley, a game industry expert. Being Fox news, Keighley was only given a few sentences, while a psychology expert who again, had no experience and hardly any research under her belt, has the gall to call him "darling," after trying to push the dangers of sexism which aren't even relevant to Mass Effect. Frankly, I would be embarrassed if I went to discuss something I had no knowledge on for Fox News, but mostly due to the fact that I'd be on Fox News. Of course, the rest of the panel had no idea what they were talking about either, and passed the blame from one silly cliché to another. If a job could be that easy, I must be in the wrong industry.

It is very obvious that side boobs and naughty words and suggested themes and violence are training America's youth to be sadistic, murdering rapists. That part I am completely clear on. In fact, it's pretty obvious considering the fact that there had never been violence in the world until 1986, when Nintendo Entertainment Systems started to invade the homes of happy families. Oh wait, before that, the cinemas were blamed, and television, and rock and roll. Something must always be blamed to keep the little darling snowflakes safe.

In lighter news, I introduced my father to World of Warcraft. He has always been a fan of the Warcraft series (seemingly unlike most people who play World of Warcraft) and I think he is getting the hang of it. I've been playing on and off for a couple years now. I have several alternate characters, but my main is a loveable little gnome mage named Lynkmatic.


To celebrate my dad's arrival to Azeroth, I rolled Lynkovic, my gnome's evil warlock twin. I ran to the human starting area, predicting with accuracy that my dad would role a human warrior, and we did some questing before he decided to run off and explore on his own. It was fantastic.


My mother, being a video game hater, is completely against the idea, and suggests the idea that Satan might have his hand in all of this. I believe she falls for everything Fox News tells her.

Lynk Vs. The Zeitgeist

I hope everyone had an ebullient, spirited, but unscathed New Years. Personally, I brought in the new year by incorrectly scripting "2007" on my last check. I also discovered I LARP after three Red Bulls and half a pound of cheese. Moving on.

I don't normally give myself resolutions for the new year. Too often have I seen friends suffer through a year due to their incredibly strong will and an honest-sounding resolution, e.g., giving up all foods with high fructose corn syrup. It is a very worthy endeavor, but you starve yourself in the process. I prefer to give myself quests, with a mission here or there for good measure.

My first quest, as quixotic (I do hope you know that is my favorite word in the English language) as it sounds, is to become self-employed, part time. I want to buckle down hard and work on my art, and apply it all into a webcomic. I've done this before, but never for more than a month or two. I'd like to work at it, get a few dozen strips back-burned, and go live by the summer. My biggest concern was always periodic updates issued three times per week. Looking at the webcomic world, I realize that's a job for Penny-Arcade and Ctrl-Alt-Delete. Until I earn a living off it, I will have to work in my spare time, and updates won't be as uniform. Now that I am okay with that, I just need to get cracking, as they say.

My second quest is to continue my studies of the general moral and intellectual characteristics of the modern world. I am not a very proficient reader of the zeitgeist, and I plan to change that. More over, I plan to become increasingly gregarious in the process. While this has been planned for a long while, the details I've recently hashed out sound like they will garner better results. I've determined that it is strictly a state of mind leading to an issue of charisma, and adjusting my internal processing while in an unfamiliar situation is all I need to pitch my gnomic adages. That, and it's important to remember that the bibulous don't judge the next day.

Happy... you know.

If it's okay, I'd like to wish some of you a safe and happy continuance. May your days be Merry and Bright, assuming you like it when days consist of modifiers such as Merry and Bright. Only if, of course, you prefer to enjoy your days as opposed to not enjoying them. If else, please, stay indoors for a while.

League, My

I proudly claim my place among the socially timid; my behavior can often be strange mix of raucousness and anxiety. I tend to enter gatherings as if I were a one man expedition team, mapping, gathering samples and rocks of sorts, and running tests. Unfortunately, disaster always somehow strikes, forcing me to evacuate the site without the data in tow. Perhaps I can blame myself for never having an interest in partaking many popular activities, such as drinking, wearing fake sea-shell necklaces, and using hair gel. I tend to do my own thing. I've fallen into many categories, and social butterfly has never really stuck. I enjoy sharing dialog with others, do not get me wrong, but unfortunately it is more complex than that. It seems people are very quick to refuse that which is unordinary. I think it is pretty well gathered that I am not conventional. I think I am more of an unconventioneer.

With that said, I had a pretty big gig last night. A friend of mine is shoving off to lands afar, and wanted to throw one final show before leaving this town and this continent. He kindly requested that I open, and I accepted. My set was very unique for me, involving a few never-before-heard mocks that I've been working on, and a few Weird Al Yankovic covers. I thought the selection was top-notch, and I painstakingly dubbed the tracks to filter out the main vocals, creating a karaoke CD. By the second song, it seemed many individuals were frightened, disturbed, or a combination of the two plus bored. I went in with massive energy, and ended up slouched in the corner by the end. It was disappointing, and difficult to trudge through, but I did nonetheless. Some had told me they loved it. Was that to pull my frangible self-esteem off the floor, or did they actually listen?

Enough wallowing, I think. If I enjoy something, I will do it. If it cannot be understood, so be it. In the words of Slartibartfast, or perhaps I should credit Douglass Adams; I'd far rather be happy than right any day.

Birthdays, Black Fridays, and the Cracker Motif

To get this out of the way first, I'd like to admit that today is my quarter-century day of celebration. While more than ten years ago, I had hoped that perhaps one of these birthdays would set forth a milestone within an unearthed prophecy, and unlock the infinite power and wisdom of the cosmos to my fingertips. Maybe next year. The Universe probably doesn't function in yearly cycles anyway.

I imagine everyone survived the dreaded Black Friday - I noticed the sirens stopped eventually. I hear the big items of the last holiday are nearly just as big this time around. Of course, I am speaking of the Wii and the PS3. Not so much the PS3 of course, but the price drop does make it somewhat more attractive. I still hear tales of woe concerning the hardships people are going through finding a Wii. Upstate NY seems to be holding out just fine, but I assume that I played a hand in that, due to hundreds of phone calls and live visits nearly a year ago. If you stayed away from the physical stores and shopping centers, you would undoubtedly have much better luck, you see, rumor has it that yesterday, Wiis were going for $80 on Amazon.

Separate from the fantastic world of economics and marketing, although perhaps nemesis to it, I'd like to speak briefly about open source. This is a topic I plan to cover somewhat frequently, as it interests me greatly. Open source to most people means free software. It goes beyond that, and the actual definition labels it a culture. I won't touch on that too much, but the rundown is the concept of constantly being able to advance the world by promoting access to designs and goods.

Open Office is an indeed simple example. For those of you who haven't used Open Office, I suggest you try it. Open Office is essentially a free, open-source set of applications that mimic the functionality of Microsoft Office. You can download it for free and do all of your word processing create databases and much more. It is not as pretty as Microsoft Office. It does not contain a talking paperclip. A few options may be in different places among the menus. For these reasons, I have heard people completely bash Open Office. I hear similar stories for other alternative software. Perhaps it is just the people I overhear that is the problem. There have been times where I have surrounded myself in some pretty unknowledgeable groups and/or individuals who complain about free things. I'm not here to claim that Microsoft is shoving standards down our throats, and in fact, I am a big fan of where Microsoft is slowly trying to go, and it is clear that the standard user has no clue about it. None the less, without open source, innovation is decided for the user. If anyone is able to alter and redistribute applications, it applies a whole new concept of software evolution. Or, I suppose, you can complain about where the Paragraph formatting menu is and get nowhere. For more information about open source, check out Wikipedia.

The Respite

As far as rocking the backstreets of Oneonta this weekend, I took a short hiatus. I missed out last Saturday as well, unless you caught me at a fantastic little house party with a full ensemble of sound-amplification boxes complete with mood lighting. It makes me miss my performance days. The fact is, I did not actually take the weekend off, but a big-kid job came up, and the bounty was high enough to grease my proverbial palms. The recourse of course was that it killed my Friday night and took off with my Saturday. I had plans to do something spectacular this weekend, I swear! Either way, I don't really mind; the rewards needed to convince me to sacrifice my weekend are indeed high, and were met. Besides, everyone in the whole town seems to have gone someplace else for the Holiday.

I have, in the time since my previous entry, done some research on photo hosting. I've been using Flickr for quite some time now, and I stand by it. I have a few qualms that are happily resolved in the paid version. I suppose that is what qualm-sources are designed for. The biggest two issues were one; when reaching two hundred images, older images disappear from your gallery. You can still link to them, as in they still exist, but simply won't be shown on your gallery. More importantly, you can only have three album categories until upgrading to the premium version. Still, Flickr has a lot of neat features. For my older work, I will be uploading to Google's Picasa. Google offers a gigabyte of storage, and integration with the Picasa software. I've always shied away from Picasa, as I've never really wanted all of the images on my PC to be cataloged into one massive repository. You can discuss directory preferences within the software, but even so, for some reason it is lacking the control I want. Long story short, you can take a look at what I've got so far in my Picasa album here.

Friday was Shigeru Miyamoto's birthday. I've been celebrating by playing his latest masterpiece; Super Mario Galaxy. Miyamoto is one of the most beloved names in gaming history. He is the creative power behind Super Mario, The Legend of Zelda, Donkey Kong, Pikmin, and countless other Nintendo franchises. His ardent contributions towards the game industry are always highly anticipated. It's not hard to look at a game and recognize Shigeru Miyamoto's touch if he played a part in the development. With that said, Super Mario Galaxy is a complete meridian to his work. If twenty years ago, Miyamoto dreamed of a future for Mario, this very well was it. The game offers so much in near-perfect dose sizes that it is hard to believe that platform games are a dying breed. The Wii's biggest strength and weakness seems to be it's graphic processing capabilities compared to the other current generation systems. Super Mario Galaxy shows that even without the advanced rendering capabilities that the other systems have, a game can still look just as good. The soundtrack this time around mostly consists of completely orchestrated tracks with themes ranging from widely-epic to soothing, melodic undertones. There's quite a bit of the old material too, carefully remixed to take you back to 1992. Best of all, while the idea of plopping Mario in a space environment seems "gimmicky;" the game executes it so well that it feels completely natural. It's no wonder why Galaxy has been getting 10/10 reviews. There have been a lot of big titles to come out the past week or two, but for now, Galaxy has me completely hooked.

Sensational Vibes

I'd like to talk about a very handy tool I've been using the past couple months. While I, a hearty myrmidon of technology and gadgetry, may be much more aflame towards the ever changing virtual organism that is the Internet than others, I feel that I do have something in common with just about everyone who visits this blog.

I, like you, use the Internet. Whether you know vaguely how to bookmark a site, or you can script in PHP, I think the following tool will be a great joy to you. It's called Netvibes.

Netvibes is nothing more than a homepage, and nothing less than a smooth, seamless hub that will put nearly all of your favorite Internet tools at your fingertips. Those of you who have used Google's iGoogle page know exactly what I am talking about. It works very much like iGoogle, except it's much prettier, and much more adaptable. Both aesthetics and functionality play vital roles for the modern-day Internet. Web 2.0 may be a buzz word to most, but it's certainly showing that with a little effort and creativity, applications such as Netvibes can be crafted for the benefit of users of all kinds.

Let's go a little deeper into what Netvibes actually is. You create a free account using your email. This way, it saved your profile so that you can access it from any PC. Once you are signed up, you have a plethora of options and widgets to choose from. You can choose to display things such as email, bookmarks, News feeds, video feeds, search results from Google Images and Flickr, calendars, task lists, note pads, and the list continues. There is a massive, ever growing library of Widgets, and you aren't limited to using specific ones. You'll find them all over the Internet. You can even tuck games into Netvibes. Of course, they don't expect you to throw everything all on one page, so they support tabs. Tabs with customizable colors, icons, and settings. In fact, you can customize so many aspects of the Netvibes homepage very easily, right down to importing your own images for the background and icons.

What this can do for the average user, is put all of your commonly visited news sites and websites all in one place. You can look at headlines and expand full articles without even leaving the page. In fact, you can create Widgets that act as tiny web browsers, bookmarked to sites of your choosing with full navigational ability.

I highly suggest giving it a shot. It's free and simple to use. Remember, once you get it going, set it as your homepage. To get you started, I'll even offer you a Tome of the Untold Figment Widget. Go ahead and install this to read this blog right from Netvibes.